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Are Dogs and Their Owners Alike?

Date Added: December 25, 2010 01:27:01 AM
Author: Joseph
Category: Pets: Dogs

Does the dog become like its master or does the master become like the dog? Let's take a look at Billy Bob and his dog, Hound. Billy Bob lives on a ranch in Idaho. Hound only thinks he is a Blood Hound because that is what Billy Bob thinks he should be. In fact Hound has only five percent Hound in him and the other fifty-six varieties come from nearly every other breed of dog. One of those breeds is Saint Bernard, a very big, not too bright Saint Bernard. Hound stands about three feet at the shoulder, weighs two hundred pounds and has a beard. He slobbers like a Bernard, sniffs like a Hound, eats like a horse, farts more than all of the other animals in the barnyard combined and smells just as bad as the barnyard itself. Billy Bob is no  prize either, he is five feet at the shoulder, three hundred pounds, spits when he talks, wipes his nose on the sleeve of his coveralls, smells like a barn and can out fart Hound. However Billy Bob loves his Hound and Hound loves his Billy Bob. Neither of them is neutered… Billy Bob and Hound are bachelors and they relish the freedom. They are inseparable and love to hunt quail. When they are in the woods and Hound circles round and round for the perfect spot to poop, Billy Bob, the great outdoorsman, will often search around for the perfect spot too. They like to pee on the same tree together. Hound is very good at flushing quail out of the underbrush, but he sometimes has to be helped out of the tangled mess he gets into when he forgets not to actually go in after the birds. Billy Bob has never shot a quail even though Hound provides him with plenty of opportunities. He is short sighted and misses every shot he takes. The prey is gone by the time he pulls the trigger. Hound and Billy Bob also like the same foods. When they camp overnight their favorite meal is spicy sausage and powdered eggs fried in lard, topped off with a heaping helping of canned beans swilled down with a half a bottle of cheap bourbon. They both giggle a lot when the farting contest starts just after bed time. Even the bears avoid the small noxious tent that they share at night. The Hound in Hound usually comes out with a full moon and Billy Bob happily joins in. Even though they are both hung over in the morning, they are up at daybreak wolfing down their favorite foods washed down with a snort of bourbon, eager to get on with the hunt. Billy Bob seldom shaves, and very much like Hound's furry face, has the remnants of earlier meals still hiding in it. And of course, as the saying goes, lay down with dogs and you will get up with fleas. Billy Bob and Hound are eager hunters, but lazy ranchers. When they are not hunting they seldom rise before ten a.m. One bird that Billy Bob did manage to shoot was the stray rooster that unluckily set up camp at Billy Bob's ranch. His five a.m. cock a doodling earned him a spray of buckshot after just a few morning wake up calls. Hound unceremoniously buried him somewhere in the manure pile. They also bath together in a small pond near the ranch house several times a year, usually in the summer time. Their bathing must be timed to the habits of a very large goose that calls the pound its home. The ornery goose has pecked both of them on the rear end more than once leaving painful welts. The goose is quick and sneaky and always disappears just before Billy Bob and Hound show up with the shotgun and a shovel--he witnessed the rooster's murder and burial. Hound loves car rides, but his stomach doesn't. It is no surprise that Billy Bob drives an old pick-me-up-truck. Hound rides shotgun in the passenger seat, hangs his head out of the open window and sprays the side of the truck with the morning breakfast while a seemingly endless stream of gaseous fumes seep from his other end. Billy Bob doesn't mind, Hound is his best bud and vice versa--two of a kind. Author: Joseph N. Kolton is a seasoned entrepreneur, author, humorist, closet philosopher and the founder of myPhotoLottery.com and PhotoBrainiac.com. For fun and cash prizes visit http://www.myphotolottery.com/dog.html
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